Chapter 66
"I married into Yanguan Village in 1982, and I've seen your mother more than once," Chen Meilan explained, seeing Yan Zhao and Yan Peiheng looking at her in disbelief.
Yan Zhao was clearly also doubtful, but immediately believed her. Chen Meilan had no reason to lie about such things.
At the time, when Yan Xing died, it looked like she had been poisoned. Many people speculated that she had been poisoned by Su Wen. Of course, Yan Zhao didn't accept this. Yan Xing was born after three sons; no one knew how much Su Wen loved her.
But he truly didn't know how Yan Xing had died.
His mother said nothing, swallowing everything. He silently shouldered the family burden alone, taking on the heavy responsibility of caring for her, but he also knew nothing.
All these years, he rarely communicated with his father, partly because of this.
Of course, the truth about Yan Xing's death should have been buried with Su Wen's passing.
But as luck would have it, Su Wen, whose mind wasn't very clear in her old age, although she had her niece from her maiden family and relatives like Yan Bin and Yan Yong to look after her, didn't have many people willing to talk to her. Moreover, her mind wasn't completely confused; she just didn't want to discuss her daughter's cause of death with people she knew.
The reason she was willing to talk to Chen Meilan was because she didn't know Chen Meilan. Chen Meilan treated the elderly well and was considerate. Most likely, she also bore some resemblance to Yan Xing.
So regarding Yan Xing's death, Chen Meilan was the only person Su Wen had ever mentioned it to.
Combined with the old stories she had recently gathered from Song Huaihua, Liu Xiaohong, and Su Chunxia, Chen Meilan was currently the only living person who could objectively state the truth of the matter.
At that time, it was like this: Yan Peiheng was in the capital, probably a company-level officer in the army. In that era, the families of company-level officers couldn't relocate with their husbands, and the military district didn't have housing to allocate to them. At most, they could visit during holidays, but normally couples lived apart.
However, Yan Peiheng had a superior who was both a fellow townsman and an old leader. Considering that he had many children at home and his wife couldn't manage everything alone, he allowed him to bring his eldest son Yan Jun and second son Yan Wei to the capital, to study and attend school together with the leader's children at the leader's home.
Su Wen stayed in Yanguan Village with the two younger children.
At that time, each commune had "black five categories" who had been sent down. After arriving, they were like the educated youth sent to the countryside, euphemistically called "going down to the cowshed," but in reality, they lived in various peasant households, helping the "red five categories" rural masses earn work points, and reforming themselves under their influence and education.
For a period of time, there was a "black five category" surnamed Gu, called Gu Xiao, who had been sent down to Su Wen's home. He was said to be the descendant of a Shanghai capitalist, and a professor-level talent.
With husband and wife living apart, it was very easy for problems to arise in their relationship.
Yan Peiheng was a rough man, while Professor Gu was very handsome and refined.
Su Wen was kind-hearted and especially good to the "black five categories," unlike other families who would criticize them, righteously use their food ration coupons, and frequently struggle against them.
She didn't even skimp on food for that "black five category," letting him eat the same meals as Yan Zhao and his siblings. During that time, the "black five category" surnamed Gu got along very well with Su Wen.
On the day Yan Xing had her accident, Yan Zhao had gone to school and wasn't at home. The "black five category" surnamed Gu had also gone to participate in labor.
When the one surnamed Gu returned home, he found Yan Xing with a dark blue face, already dead. Su Wen was holding her, sitting blankly in the courtyard, without even tears in her eyes, just sitting there stupidly.
Of course, the one surnamed Gu's first reaction was to try to take Yan Xing to the hospital.
However, at that time, Yan Zhao's grandmother was still alive. The old lady had the same temperament as Yan Zhao and his father. Because Su Wen and that "black five category" had a good relationship and often chatted very well together, the old lady was already quite dissatisfied with Su Wen. Holding her dead granddaughter, she pointed at Su Wen's nose and cursed loudly, saying that she wanted to elope with the one surnamed Gu and saw her daughter as a burden, so she had poisoned her to death.
Then, the old lady sent a telegram to Yan Peiheng, saying that his daughter-in-law wanted to elope with a "black five category" and had poisoned their granddaughter to death because of it. She told her son to come back and catch the one surnamed Gu, crying and shouting to report the case, wanting the most powerful Revolutionary Committee at the time to execute the one surnamed Gu by firing squad.
"Execute the one surnamed Gu, Su Wen, I want my son to divorce you, he can send you both to a military court, you are adulterers, you are destroying a military marriage!" At that time, the old lady held her granddaughter's corpse and screamed heartbreakingly.
The one surnamed Gu was already a "black five category," and suddenly being implicated in such a matter, he was directly tied up by the Revolutionary Committee and beaten half to death. The Revolutionary Committee people even ran to the city to make a phone call, telling Yan Peiheng to come back and deal with the adulterer.
Su Wen, having suddenly lost her daughter, was also in a half-crazed state. Hearing that her husband was about to return, and thinking of her husband's stubborn donkey temper, she feared that her husband would really shoot the one surnamed Gu dead, adding another wronged ghost to the world. So she actually took advantage of the darkness to quietly release the one surnamed Gu from the Revolutionary Committee.
Because of this, the one surnamed Gu took a train all the way south. Knowing that staying would certainly mean death, he simply hugged an oil drum and floated to Hong Kong.
Then he went down to Southeast Asia.
It was after he had established a business foundation in Southeast Asia that he would remit money to Su Wen.
As for Yan Xing's death, whenever anyone asked about it, Su Wen would say, "It's my fault, all my fault."
It was also because of this that not only did Yan Peiheng hate Su Wen to death.
Even though Yan Zhao had always lived with Su Wen and felt very guilty about his sister's death, he was powerless to defend her. Because after a few days of commotion, his sister's body was already beginning to decay, and the real cause of death could not be investigated.
He only knew that his sister was gone, the "black five category" living in their house had escaped, and his father had nearly shot his mother with a gun when he returned. But for the sake of his father's future, and because most people believed Su Wen was a good woman, after the uproar, no one had the heart to blame her further.
So the entire commune held a collective meeting, all members of the Revolutionary Committee swore to keep it secret, and the matter was suppressed.
Yan Peiheng returned to the capital to continue serving in the army, while Su Wen remained in the village. Even when Yan Peiheng occasionally brought the two older children back, they never slept on the same kang bed.
Although Yan Xing's death was never mentioned again, it hung like a curse over Yan Zhao and Su Wen.
The truth that Su Wen told Chen Meilan was like this:
"At that time, Xing Xing hadn't seen her father for a long time and really missed him. I joked with her and said, 'Your dad is coming back tomorrow. What does our Xing Xing want to do when dad comes back?'"
"Make dad's favorite pumpkin rice," Yan Xing said.
At noon, Su Wen also went to the fields.
When she came back in the evening and couldn't find her daughter, she searched all the way to the cellar, only to discover that her daughter's body was already cold, still holding a big pumpkin in her arms, with a large green snake wrapped around her neck.
Every rural household had a cellar. Cellars needed regular maintenance; if there were rat holes, they had to be filled in. Otherwise, not only would rats come and go, stealing food, but snakes would also follow and enter.
Su Wen of course blamed herself, because in her subconscious, she had lied to her child, and the child had gone down to the cellar and been killed by a snake.
But Chen Meilan thought that the greater responsibility lay with Yan Peiheng. He had at least one month of leave every year. Yan Zhao could build such a bright courtyard house for the family during his vacation days, so how could Yan Peiheng not fix the rat holes in the cellar?
So it was a simple matter: regardless of what happened between Su Wen and the one surnamed Gu, Yan Xing had been killed by a snake bite.
But because of such a small thing, Yan Peiheng misunderstood Su Wen for a lifetime. Wasn't he just a big scumbag?
While Yan Zhao and Yan Peiheng were still stunned, the second son Yan Wei looked around the courtyard and suddenly interjected: "Dad, do we still have a cellar? What's a cellar used for?"
Actually, Yan Wei also wanted to ask how Chen Meilan knew the family affairs of Yan Peiheng's household from twenty years ago, and knew them so clearly?
"In rural households, who doesn't have a cellar?" Yan Zhao coldly asked Yan Wei in return.
Although born of the same father, Yan Wei had gone to the capital with Yan Peiheng at the age of five. Due to the urban-rural divide, Yan Wei's memories were all confused: "I really didn't know that."
Yan Bin, with one hand covering his buttocks, probably also hadn't expected Yan Xing to have died like this. After being stunned for a long time, he sighed deeply: "Why didn't Second Aunt say anything back then, why didn't she say anything?"
Some people in the village had once quietly gossiped about her behind her back, but they were silenced by Old Man Yan San's group.
Su Wen died alone and in silence in this courtyard.
Even with high monks from Famen Temple performing the last rites, even with a smile on her face as she passed, she never got to see any of her own relatives in the end.
After the younger generation spoke these few words, it reminded Yan Peiheng, who suddenly turned and went to the corner of the courtyard.
In the corner was a small tiled shed built of blue bricks, square and only half a person's height. Crouching to enter, it led down to a cellar.
Yan Peiheng walked rather hurriedly, yanking open the cellar door. Having not crawled into such a cellar for many years, and being older now with stiff bones, he couldn't bend down in time. With a loud bang, he hit his head on the crossbeam, making a huge noise and knocking down several tiles which fell on his head.
But he didn't brush off the tiles. He just jumped down with a muffled sound, plunging into the cellar with a thud.
"Second Uncle, you should look before going in. It hasn't been maintained for a long time, there might be snakes inside," said Yan Bin as he saw this and hurriedly tried to follow, but was pulled back by Yan Zhao.
Though dark-faced and usually not good at expressing emotions, this time the anger on Yan Zhao's face was visible: "Leave him be. Let him go look for himself."
"What if there are snakes inside?" Yan Bin said in a low voice. "Snakes in cellars are common. Uncle is getting on in years, we should at least tell him to be careful."
"Let him go," Yan Zhao suddenly bared his teeth, shouting in a suppressed voice, then turned and entered the main room.
In the center of the main room, Su Wen's pear wood memorial tablet was placed. Though Yan Zhao lived in the seventh branch, he came to clean the rooms here every three days, occasionally placing a bouquet of flowers. The memorial tablet was kept clean and bright, just as his mother would have liked.
In fact, rural people have a consistent understanding that there are snakes in cellars and that snakes will bite people.
Generally, before going down into a cellar, people would knock on the edge and tap on the tiled roof before descending. This way, snakes would hear the noise and automatically hide away.
The reason Yan Xing was bitten was because he was a small child with light footsteps. The snake in the cellar hadn't heard any noise beforehand, only suddenly realizing when the child came down, which is why it bit.
Although Yan Peiheng was unwilling to acknowledge Chen Meilan as his daughter-in-law, his eyes weren't blind and his mind wasn't muddled. He also knew there were snake nests in the cellar. Having misunderstood his wife for over twenty years, let him crawl into the cellar himself now to seek proof and verify.
As for being bitten by a snake.
Chen Meilan thought it impossible. Isn't there a saying that good people don't live long, but turtles live for a thousand years?
Su Wen felt that her lie had cost the child's life, and she went mad with grief at the time.
But what about Yan Peiheng? If he had been willing to set aside his work, set aside his misunderstanding of Su Wen, and been willing to spend more time with Su Wen back then, to help her move past the pain of losing her daughter, how could Su Wen have died so lonely?
What he owed Su Wen could never be repaid in this lifetime.
Yan Peiheng went down into the cellar, while Yan Zhao was in the main hall.
The second son, Yan Wei, patted his head and said, "Meilan, wait a moment."
He went out for a bit, and soon returned carrying a large handbag. As he entered, he said with a smile, "Xiping seems to have developed quite well in recent years. On the way here by car today, I saw many new buildings going up. I heard you're involved in engineering projects, a real 'women's army', very impressive."
As he spoke, he opened the handbag and first took out a purse to hand to Meilan.
Because it was printed with many "LV" logos, Yan Bin spelled it out: "Donkey? This bag looks peculiar, called a donkey. Such a small bag, what can it hold?"
"Oh Yan Bin, this is an international luxury brand, an LV bag," Yan Wei said. He then took out several small boxes from the handbag: "For your and Yan Zhao's wedding, we didn't have much to give. These are cosmetics from your second sister-in-law."
The most Chen Meilan could currently afford were Avon and Yu Xi, while what Yan Wei gave her were the most popular international cosmetics of the era - Clinique's cleansing bar, moisturizing lotion, and dramatically different moisturizing gel.
In China, there weren't many people who could afford these things at present.
Chen Meilan picked up the LV bag and hefted it. Having been a billionaire's wife in her past life, she had plenty of these at home. Logically, at present in China there were many fakes and few genuine articles, but surprisingly, this was actually authentic.
She and Yan Wei's wife Mi Lan were only sisters-in-law. Could an LV bag be too much?
"Take it," Yan Wei said again. "This was also given to Mi Lan by our elder sister-in-law. She has too many and can't use them all."
Since Yan Wei put it that way, Chen Meilan accepted it.
"What about Yan Wangqi and Yan Minglang? Meilan, I heard those two kids have poor upbringing..." Yan Wei said with a smile.
Hearing this, Chen Meilan immediately felt the words were grating: "Second Brother, do you mean to say I haven't raised the children well?"
Yan Wei was taken aback by Chen Meilan's retort, realizing he had misspoken. He hurriedly explained: "It's mainly that those two kids aren't like Yan Ha and my elder brother's children. I'm afraid growing up in the countryside, they haven't received good education from the roots."
Yan Bin lit a cigarette, sighed, and chimed in: "Yeah, the difference in education between rural and urban areas is like night and day."
Though these words seemed correct, Chen Meilan still found them jarring. She felt Yan Wei's words had some hidden meaning.
So she said: "I heard Big Brother has three sons, they should all be well-educated, right?"
Yan Wei smiled and said: "All three are sons. He was originally sent abroad by the government and is currently staying in America. The kids are all in America too. Not just education, but America is better than our Hua Country in all aspects. I have a military position so I can't leave the country, and Dad doesn't want me to go either, but..."
Glancing at the cellar, Yan Wei continued: "But I'm about to transfer to civilian work soon. Actually, I want to go abroad too. When the time comes, I'll take Ha, Xiaowang and Xiaolang abroad together. Meilan, let's persuade Dad together later. Children's education is more important than anything. My wife and I aren't going abroad for ourselves, we're taking the kids together. We may have wasted our generation, but at least we shouldn't waste the children's."
So Yan family's eldest son was staying in America.
Originally, if a son stayed in America, Yan Peiheng would face disciplinary action.
But now such things were too common. Which leaders weren't trying every way to send their children abroad?
As for Yan Wei, currently in the military, he was thinking of transferring to civilian work just to go abroad.
However, this was the current situation in Hua Country. Many people with very high status and position in China would go to America to wash dishes, scrub pans, and wait tables, but they still believed America was better than Hua Country, that it was heaven.
But Yan Zhao certainly wouldn't think that way.
So Meilan said: "Thank you for your concern, Second Brother, but we'll definitely raise Xiaowang and Xiaolang ourselves."
They had been chatting for too long, until someone knocked on the door from outside and asked: "Comrade Yan Wei, has the Chief of Staff not finished talking yet? The provincial government has arranged a meal, and it's almost time. The senior secretary from the governor's office just called to hurry us." This was Yan Peiheng's secretary, coming to urge him to leave quickly.
Only then did Yan Wei remember to go down to the cellar to help the old man.
But shortly after Yan Wei jumped down into the cellar, he poked his head out again and called to Chen Meilan: "Meilan, Father wants you to come down too. Bring a flashlight."
Go down to the cellar?
Although she was a country girl and every family had a cellar, Chen Degong never let her go into the cellar since she was little. After marrying into Yanguan Village, she directly locked up the cellar at Yan Xishan's house. Later when they got a refrigerator, there was even less need to use the cellar. The mere mention of cellars made her shudder.
But why was Yan Peiheng calling her down to the cellar?
This was something Chen Meilan wouldn't do even if it killed her.
Just then, Yan Zhao came out of the main hall. Passing by Meilan, he said: "Don't go down. I'll go."
When Yan Zhao was young, Su Wen was actually still using this cellar. She had swallowed everything that happened, as if nothing had ever occurred. She blocked up the rat holes herself. Originally wanting Yan Zhao to go to the capital, but he wouldn't go, so she silently raised Yan Zhao alone, staying at home and praying to Buddha. The cellar was actually kept very clean.
Though Yan Zhao did a lot of farm work at home, Su Wen never let him go down to the cellar. This was because there had once been that man surnamed Gu in the family, and his grandmother often spread rumors, saying Su Wen didn't let others go down to the cellar, possibly because she had had illicit relations with that Gu man in the cellar.
As a son, Yan Zhao would only swallow all this and absolutely not enter the cellar. But he never imagined that the reason his mother didn't let him go down to the cellar was because his sister had once died in there.
The cellar was divided into two levels. The middle level was no more than a meter square, while the lower level was about 1.5 meters high. Yan Wei was crouching on the second level, vomiting, while Yan Peiheng was in the circular pit at the very bottom. As soon as Yan Zhao entered, Yan Wei crawled out, waving his hand and retching non-stop: "The smell is too strong, I can't take it."
In fact, this was already the cleanest cellar, with the rammed earth packed tightly inside. Because of the dense earth and the dry northern climate, there was nothing else inside.
Yan Zhao turned on his flashlight and scanned along the walls.
"Xing Xing!" Yan Peiheng called out softly.
Where the flashlight beam had passed over the wall, there was a spot where a five-pointed star had been drawn over and over by hand, rubbed into the rammed earth.
Who knows how long it took to etch those deep marks into the earthen wall. Each circle must have represented a mother's longing for her daughter.
She had silently filled in the rat holes by herself, then spent twenty years quietly sitting in that spot, drawing stars, thinking of her Xing Xing.
"Xing Xing..." Yan Peiheng called out again, his finger tracing over the marks.
That spot was exactly where there had once been a rat hole. Yes, just as Meilan had said, Su Wen had repeatedly asked him to fill in the rat holes. But how reckless people are when they're young! Whenever he came home, he only wanted to follow his wife around, to be with her, talking endlessly, waiting for nightfall, waiting to go to bed. What did a mere cellar matter? What harm could a tiny rat hole do?
Those were revolutionary times. Yan Peiheng had suspected his wife of infidelity, suspected Gu Xiao of being a spy, suspected they had poisoned their daughter. He had all sorts of suspicions, even pointing a gun at his wife's forehead, nearly pulling the trigger.
She had looked up at him, crying her heart out, but not saying a word.
He thought it was because she loved that man Gu, that she was keeping silent to protect Gu Xiao's life.
But reality is so plain, so ordinary, so unremarkable that it doesn't deserve the hatred he harbored for twenty years.
Su Wen was just an ordinary, kind, and forbearing woman who, in the harsh rural life of the 1960s, lost her daughter due to an accident, a joke, and then regretted it for the rest of her life, dying with that regret.
The person he should have hated most was himself.
Yan Wei was the first to leave the cellar, shaking his head and sighing: "The countryside is so backward. The cellar is so dark and scary."
"By the way, Second Brother, when Mom died, Big Brother was abroad, and it seems you didn't come back either. Were you extremely busy at the time?" Chen Meilan remembered something. Even if Yan Jun was overseas, Yan Wei was in the country when Su Wen died. Why didn't he come back?
Even if their parents' relationship wasn't good, shouldn't he have returned when the mother who gave birth to him died?
Yan Wei gave a bitter smile. Before he could speak, Yan Bin explained for him: "He used to have a son who also passed away that year."
Just after his wife Mi Lan had her tubes tied, Yan Wei's three-year-old son fell ill and died.
In that era, there was a large group of couples who lost their only child due to sterilization, so Chen Meilan didn't press the matter further.
"Sigh, Dad misunderstood our mother for a lifetime," Yan Wei looked back at the cellar and said, "Since childhood, I heard from the aunties who took care of us that our parents didn't get along, but I never knew why. I never imagined it was because of this."
He lit a cigarette and exhaled a long breath.
Chen Meilan's heart stirred. Xiaowang had said that Yan Peiheng had a lover in the capital.
For a single man with two children, still in the army, if he really had a lover, she shouldn't be too far away. After all, who wouldn't fear rumors? Conduct issues were the most important thing in the army.
That lover was probably among the aunties Yan Wei mentioned, who had taken care of them.